Hitting children for purposes of discipline and threatening to punish one’s wife

 

Is it a sin to hit one's children by hand or stick. I only do this when I feel the child has not obeyed my instruction after several warnings.
Also, is it a sin to lift a hand for one's wife. There are times when I feel that it should be done but have resisted thus far.
As for the case of the children, I feel extremely guilty after the spanking given and beg The Almighty for his forgiveness if the act is wrong.
Is there duaas which I may read daily for The Almighty to guide my children and bless them with good Aqaa'id?

Praise be to Allaah. 

The
father’s duty is to bring his children up well and to take care of them,
and hitting may be used as a means of discipline when the situation
requires that. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) commanded us to smack children for not praying when they reach the
age of ten, but this should be the last resort, when all others have
failed, and there should be no harshness in the hitting, and we must not
hit the face. The father should not hit his child at the time of extreme
anger, or with a sharp instrument that may injure him, or with anything
that may break bones, and he should not hit him in a place where a blow
may be fatal. Brandishing the stick may be more effective than actually
hitting. The point is that when disciplining his child, a father should
follow the principle of using the gentlest means then the next gentlest;
he should not resort to the harshest and most difficult means if he can
achieve his aim with something that is easier and gentler.

 With
regard to hitting one’s wife, this is not the first choice of ways to
discipline her. First of all one should exhort and advise her. If that
does not work, then (the husband) should forsake her in bed [i.e., not
have conjugal relations with her]. If that does not work, then he may hit
her, but not severely, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning);

“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them
(first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly,
if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them
means (of annoyance). Surely, Allaah is Ever Most High, Most Great”
[al-Nisaa’ 4:34].

The Messenger
of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has told us
that the best of people are not those who beat their wives.

 With
regard the guidance of children, the parents must do the things that will
lead to that, such as advising them, keeping them away from bad 
company, helping them to maintain ties with righteous friends,
treating them well and continuing to pray for them to be righteous and to
be guided. Among the du’aa’s for children that have been narrated are:

“Our
Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our
eyes” [al-Furqaan 25:74 – interpretation of the meaning]

and:

“and
make my offspring good” [al-Ahqaaf 46:15 – interpretation of the
meaning]

--
or any other good du’aa’, but along with making du’aa’ one 
must also use other means that will help to make them strong and
steadfast in Islam. And Allaah is the guide to the Straight Path.