Delay of marriage and its connection to al-qada’ wa’l-qadar

 

Does the delay of a girl’s marriage have anything to do with al-qada’ wa’l-qadar (the divine will and decree)? I am a girl who fears Allaah and I pray, but marriage has been delayed for me. Very few men have proposed marriage to me and all of them have faults, mostly in the area of religious commitment. I am asking: does the delay in marriage have any connection to the will and decree of Allaah or is it that I have committed a sin and Allaah is angry with me, although I fear Allaah greatly and Allaah has given me a share of beauty? I want to put my mind at rest by asking you.

Praise be to Allaah.

The Qur’aan and saheeh
Sunnah, and the consensus of the early generations of this ummah, indicate
that it is obligatory to believe in al-qadar (the divine decree), both good
and bad, and that this is one of the six basic principles of faith without
which a person’s faith is incomplete. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning): 

“No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves but it
is inscribed in the Book of Decrees (Al‑Lawh Al‑Mahfooz) before We bring it
into existence. Verily, that is easy for Allaah”

[al-Hadeed 57:22] 

“Verily, We have created all things with Qadar (Divine
Preordainments of all things before their creation as written in the Book of
Decrees - Al‑Lawh Al‑Mahfooz)”

[al-Qamar 54:49] 

It was narrated from
‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, defining faith: “It is to
believe in Allaah, His angels, His Books, His Messengers, the Last Day and
to believe in the divine decree, both good and bad.” Narrated by Muslim, 8. 

Everything that happens in the universe happens only by the
decree of Allaah, so the one who believes in al-qadar must believe that
Allaah knew all things before they happened, then He wrote that in al-Lawh
al-Mahfooz (the Book of Decrees), then He willed that they should be, then
He created them. These are the four well-known stages of al-qadar, and there
is evidence for each of these stages, as has already been explained in
detail in the answer to question no. 49004. 

Marriage and whether it comes sooner or later, or is easy or
difficult, is all subject to the decree of Allaah. This does not mean that
the Muslim should not avail himself of the means that Allaah has decreed as
the steps leading to it, and applying the means does not contradict the idea
that a thing has been decreed from eternity. Man does not know what has been
decreed for him, but he is enjoined to apply the means. 

The calamities that Allaah decrees for a person are good for
the believer if he bears them with patience and seeks reward for that, and
does not panic, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: “How marvelous is the affair of the believer, for all his affairs
are good, and that does not apply to anyone except the believer. If
something good happens to him he gives thanks for it and that is good for
him. If something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience and that is
good for him.” Narrated by Muslim, 2999. 

These calamities may be a punishment for sin, but that is not
necessarily the case. They may come in order to raise the believer in status
and increase his reward if he is patient and content… or there may be other
great reasons behind it. 

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him)
was asked: 

If a person is tested with sickness or a calamity that
strikes him or his wealth, how can he know whether that is a test or is a
sign of the wrath of Allaah? 

He replied: 

Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, tests His slaves
with good things and bad, with hardship and with ease. He may test them in
order to raise them in status and to increase their reward, as He did with
the Prophets and Messengers (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon them) and
the righteous slaves of Allaah. The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “The people who are most severely tested are the
Prophets, then the next best and the next best.” Sometimes Allaah does that
because of sins, so the punishment is hastened, as Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 

“And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of
what your hands have earned. And He pardons much”

[al-Shoora 42:30] 

Usually people fall short
and fail to fulfil their duties, so whatever befalls them is because of
their sins and shortcomings in obeying the commands of Allaah. If one of the
righteous slaves of Allaah is tested with sickness and the like, this is
akin to the testing of the Prophets and Messengers which raises them in
status and increases their reward, so that they may be examples to others of
patience and seeking reward. 

Conclusion: it may be a test in order to raise a person in
status and increase his reward, as Allaah does with the Prophets and some of
the elite, or it may be an expiation for sins, as Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 

“whosoever works evil, will have the recompense thereof”

[al-Nisa’ 4:123] 

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: “No tiredness, exhaustion, worry, grief, distress or harm befalls
a believer in this world, not even a thorn that pricks him, but Allaah
expiates some of his sins thereby.” 

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“When Allaah wills good for a person, He afflicts him (with calamity so that
he may earn reward by bearing it with patience).” 

That may also be a punishment that has been hastened because
of sins and a failure to hasten to repent, as stated in the hadeeth in which
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When
Allaah wills good for a person, He hastens his punishment in this world, and
when He wills bad for a person, He withholds the (punishment) for his sins
from him until he comes to Him with that sin on the Day of Resurrection.”
Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi. End quote. 

Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat,
4/370 

As you refused to marry those who came and proposed to you,
for the sake of Allaah and because they are not adhering to Islam, Allaah
will compensate you with something better than them. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): 

“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He
will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).

3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could
imagine”

[al-Talaaq 65:2-3] 

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: “You will never give up a thing for the sake of Allaah, may He be
glorified and exalted, but Allaah will compensate you with something that is
better for you than that.” Narrated by Imam Ahmad; classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani in Hijaab al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 47. 

You should turn to Allaah
with du’aa’ and acts of worship, and do not despair. Remember that the mercy
of Allaah is close to those who do good.

 And Allaah knows best.