She refused his proposal and he is in love with her – what should he do?

 

A young woman refused my proposal of marriage for no reason, but I still want to marry her. I prayed istikhaarah a number of times but I felt certain in my heart that she would come back to me, but she did not. What should I do?.

Praise be to Allaah.

So long as you have prayed istikhaarah and asked Allaah for
guidance, and it has not been made easy for you to marry this girl, then you
should realize that this is what is best for you and for her right now. It
may be that marrying her would lead to bad consequences, which Allaah has
averted from you; and it may be that marrying someone else may be better for
you. Allaah grants provision to whom He wills and decrees, and He knows best
what is in the best interests of His slave and will bring him happiness. All
the slave has to do is entrust his affairs to Him and accept His choice, and
believe in His will and decree and hope for that which is with Him, for He
is more merciful towards him than he is to himself, may He be glorified and
exalted. 

Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A person
may hope for some matter of trade or position of authority, until he is
close to attaining it, then Allaah looks at him and says to His angels:
‘Divert it from him, for if he attains it I will send him to Hell.’ So
Allaah diverts it from him and he keeps regarding that as something bad,
saying ‘So and so beat me to it, So and so outwitted me,’ when in fact it is
a blessing from Allaah. Quoted by Ibn Rajab in Jaami’ al-‘Uloom
wa’l-Hukam (2/470). 

As for your feelings that this girl will be yours, this is
possible; it may happen or it may not. You do not know what is best for you,
so you should not feel attached to anything. Rather you should ask Allaah to
make good easy for you wherever it is, and to divert evil from you wherever
it is. Hasten to look for a wife who is of good character or religiously
committed, and do not delay marriage in the hope of attaining this
possibility, for that is the way of those who are weak in faith and do not
put their trust fully in Allaah; one of them may set his heart on something
and never be able to forget it, whilst claiming that he has prayed
istikhaarah and asked Allaah for guidance, and that he accepts His decree,
where in fact he will only be pleased with his whims and desires and what
his heart longs for. 

To conclude, you should do the following: 

1-   
Ask Allaah to make it easy for
you to marry a righteous woman who will help you in this world and in the
Hereafter.

2-   
Strive to look for this
righteous woman.

3-   
Forget about this girl, and
stop thinking about her altogether, and believe that goodness is in whatever
Allaah decrees for you.

4-   
Do not feel upset because you
were rejected for no reason; there may be reasons known only to her, that
you know nothing about. 

We ask Allaah to help us and you to do what which He loves
and is pleased with. 

And Allaah knows
best.